Saturday, 25 September 2010

The Dummy Can Talk

I recently read a really great post called “I have something to say” written by Mikki. Recommended by my dear “Sista Eternal” (pronounced EE-Turn-Al) and awesome woman of God“Joni Ames of A.C.T.S. ministry”

And so my train (of thought that is) went off on its own track. No, I have not totally gotten away from “Giraffeology” only a little bit. You know I have to go where the “Spirit Flows”So here goes the train (of thought that is) off on a bit of a detour track.

I know you are probably saying where in the world did you get this title? Well here goes.

“The Dummy Can Talk” is about being the oracles of God in this earth. It is about not allowing our own personal perceptions of ourselves or of others perception of us to keep us from speaking up and voicing our Love of God in a lost and dying world.

I dont mean getting on your soap box every minute of every day and shouting out and condemning mankind for their wickedness.

I mean being the oracle of God and allowing Him to speak through us, To speak out the love that God has shed abroad in our hearts for others.

Preaching the gospel at all times and if necessary using words as “St Francis of Assisi” said.

That Gods voice would be heard through our life of love that we share with others. That every thing we do, whether in word or in deed that it would give off the fragrance of Gods love to every one who comes anywhere close to us.

Ok so I still have not explained the title;“The Dummy Can Talk.”Well here goes the story. Let me know if you have anything remotely as bizarre as this to share with me I would love to hear it.

“THE DUMMY CAN TALK”

We have all heard the cute little stories of childhood. Either your own told to you by your parents or the ones you have of you own children, nephews, nieces, friends kids etc..

You know the kind of story, the one that they love to tell that burns a hole in the brain. Of the cute things kids do. My story was ta-da “THE DUMMY CAN TALK” du-du-daaah spooky ooky music).

Ok, ok sorry the train started to go off on another track but I’m back.

When I was a little girl and all throughout my life one of the main ‘kiddy’ stories my beloved (now in glory) mother delighted in telling me (and anyone else who would listen) was the story of how I was a late talker.

Yeah, imagine that. In fact because I was such a late talker they thought I was mute aka dumb. Thus I was lovingly called by my family you got it…“The Dummy”

Horrible isn’t it. But in all actuality they really thought, of it as a term of endearment. Never as something mean. Back in the day when my parents were growing up, that is what you called someone who was mute. And for all intensive purposes I was just that.

Thankfully they stopped calling me that once I learned to talk. However I can still hear the echo of it ring through my mind at times and have to it fight off.

You know that little and sometimes not so little voice, that shouts out “Hey You Dummy” “What did you do that for”… or “Are you a Dummy what where you thinking” duh! On and on it goes… Can any of you relate?

Thankfully the Lord has really healed my heart in that area and when that ‘dumb’ voice shouts junk like that to me I say “You Da’ Dummy Not Me” (sorry I slip off into Brooklynese when I’m excited) Anyway…Back to the story.

Two days before my second birthday (which is the 23rd of December by the, my wish list to be posted soon~ smile.)As the the story goes, my mother was hanging up the Christmas drapes while standing on a step stool. I wanted her attention so I began pulling on the drapes.

Up until that time I had never spoken before. When I wanted something the only verbal communication I did was to either scream or grunt. If tugging on someone or something didn’t work. Or so I was told (over and over and over…)

So… because she was busy and wanted to finish her work she tried to get me to go away. When that failed she called out to the family, for someone to come get (say it with me) “The Dummy”.

When no one came to her rescue and I continued with my tactic of tugging on the curtains trying my best to get her attention, she got a bit stern with me. Then in utter frustration she even stamped her foot on the stool.

For those of you who know me, you know I don’t do well with aggressive confrontations. So I did what I naturally do when aggressively confronted. I shouted back in my cute little 2year old voice.

Firedancer age 5ish had no 2yr pic

Firedancer age 5ish I had no cute little 2 year old pic

Which by the way they had never heard until that moment. And thus my very first spoken words were born.

Oh, you want me to tell you what I said? Here goes my first sentence after a life of groans which could not be uttered. “And I quote my mother : “Mommy Don’t You Dare, Sout at Me”

Needless to say my mother almost fell strait off the step stool shouting out to the family in utter amazement to come quickly because “Da Da Daaah” (spooky ooky music again) … “THE DUMMY CAN TALK, THE DUMMY CAN TALK!!!!!” Not only that I talked in a full sentence not just single words. I’m sure that blew their toupees off.

Then mom, dad and all my sisters along with my cousin and my aunt, who lived with us, came running to see the anomaly. You can imagine it was party time that day at my house. Along with having to find a new nick name for me. Thank God.

~~THE END~ Not really I haven’t shut up since.

You probably have figured out why I shared this story with you. Or perhaps not, so let me explain. My parents were some of the kindest and most loving people around. They raised me to love God and treat others the way that I wanted to be treated.

So I know that with their fun loving nature they had no idea that calling me the dummy would have such a profound negative affect on me.

They never knew that every time the story was told over and over again it pierced my heart and put a track in my mind that said “Dummy, Dummy, Dummy”. “Loud mouth Dummy”

Because as was the custom of the day and is still so in many households “A child is to be seen and not heard”. So being the talkative person that I am I was many times told to sit down and be quiet.

For a long time I did just that. I lived in fear of opening my mouth because I might not say the right thing or I might say too much.

For a long time, what I call the “Voice of the Dummy” became a critical voice inside of me that would try to convince me that I could do nothing right. And that I talked too much.

Even when I would accomplish something good the voice of the Dummy would tell me it was not good enough.

Sounds kinda like one of the old horror movies where the ventriloquist doll comes to life and wreaks havoc in the lives of the movie characters.

In a way it was almost like that. This was one of my skeletons in the closet or should I say dummies in the closet.

I had battled for many years with either going over board and running myself to the ground. Or sitting it out in feelings of frustration and futility, feeling that “oh well I wont be able to do it good enough so what’s the point in doing it at all”.

Or the voice of the Dummy would tell me no one wants to hear you because your just too dumb to have anything worth listening to. Plus remember you talk too much.

The hurt and the pain of being what I thought I was a “Dummy” many times crippled me from stepping out and being comfortable in my own skin.

Until… The happily ever after day came, when the Lord rescued me and set me free from the “Dummy Within” Da Da Daaah (spooky ooky music again)

He told me that although I was not a “Dummy” I could choose to be His living Doll. As the ventriloquist doll was used by the ventriloquist He ‘Pappa God” wanted to use me as His voice to those in my world. Blog-world included.

The truth that I live by today and one of the reasons why I blog is to shout from the house top all that God has done for me in freeing me in so many areas of defeat. Not just from the Dummy.

To tell everyone that God is Love and that He loves us personally and joyfully. He never gets tired of hearing us talk. Or not if that is your personality.

I want to continue to use my voice and more so my life as a constant reminder to others that they are wonderful, just the way they are.

That one does not have to be flakey or fruity to be a voice for God. Although sorry to say some of us are straight out of the fruit and nuts box like me.

Yet even those of us who are considered a little out of the norm. You know, we are the ones who go under the file category of “Other”.

A lot of times we are the creative's. The artists and the poets ect... The fruits and nuts. But we have a voice too.

The Lord reminded me that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. That all my little quirky personality traits are not a sign of some abnormality. Rather it is a sign of the wonderful blessing of diversity that Our God bestows on us.

Not everyone loves fruit and nuts or for that matter plain porridge, so if we are not received by some we are not to take it personally. God loves us so much that He makes us just the way we are, so we can bless others in the giftings He took so much time to instill in us.

So Don’t be afraid to speak up and be all that you can be. All that God created you to be.

If you are reading this today and you have been feeling just like I said “The Dummy”.

I am here to tell you that you are not. “God Don’t Make Junk” (oops there goes my Brooklynese slipping out again)

He made you for a purpose and He has a plan for your life. And if you don’t know Him intimately as a true friend or you have never heard Him talk to your heart as I have been telling you, then do pop me a private note in email and I will be happy to introduce you to the one who loves you more than you can imagine.

Oh and if you are thinking “Heck No” I can’t stand that “Old Time Religion” You know the kind that tries to get you to do a bunch of boring religious rituals just to get to God.

Well I can’t either, so don’t worry. The God I love and serve is fun and free and full of life. Not some dead religious ritual.

Just look at some of the stuff He made. Like the giraffe (click here if you haven’t read some of the Giraffeolgy Chronicles)

He is what I like to call “My Loving Lover Lord” and He would love for you to know Him.

So He can “Pardy Hardy with Ya” and you can “Get High With The Most High” (another name for getting filled with the Holy Spirit.)

If you want to know more about that here is a good book by Derek Princes (click here)

Oh and for those of you out there who love God and may think I am being a little irreverently. Because you do love that old time religion. I apologize to you that I may not be your CUP A TEA.

But in as loving a way as I can say it, “Take it to Jesus” and get over yourself. Then SHAKE IT OFF AND STEP UP (click here to read the article)

Jesus called us to love each other so lets just open our mouths wide and not keep silent. Let our language be the language of love.

And remember, that language does not always have to use vocabulary. Again check out “STICK OUT YOUR TONGUE AND SAY AAAH!!! Part Two in the Giraffeology Chronicles (click here to read)

Bye for now until the next train leaves the station, B&P Firedancer

Images other than my baby picture came from Google Chrome images

13 comments:

  1. I added myself to follow your blog. You are more than welcome to visit mine and become a follower if you want to.

    God Bless You ~Ron

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  2. Thanks for peeking in and joining Ron I will surely check out your blog soon.
    B&P, Firedancer

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  3. I love the old time religion.

    http://youcanfacetodaybecausehelives.blogspot.com/

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  4. Hi Sweet Dear Friend,
    I just had to stop in and say hello and catch up with you! So sorry for my long delays, but I'm trying to take advantage of the days right now (before to much more rolls along and the weather changes.). I really enjoyed this posting and thank Daddy that you found your voice. I was just talking with a friend about this very thing this a.m.. Being the 'different light' in a darkened world. You just added confirmation!
    I have to scoot off and back to the painting, but had to say hello and miss you Girl!
    I love you loads!!
    xoxo,
    Ellen

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  5. I am a person that worries about what people say and think and end up depressed. When I get depressed I feel so far away from God and find it hard to reconnect with him. Please help me and tell me what I can do. A lot of my problems go back to child hood, but I am no longer a child. I have a lot of love inside to give, but I think fear and pain has blocked the love I want to give.
    When I am not depressed of course I feel like I can tackle the world. When I am depressed I feel unworthy and good for absolutely nothing. I feel like a failure. I know I sound so negative but I need to vent. I am asking you to pray for me and maybe give me some insight on what I need to do. I can think a bad thought and feel it, I try so hard to change my thinking but it is so hard. Please respond in love and kindness, this is from my heart.

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  6. Dear Toyin O,
    Thanks for writing in. I hope you don't miss understand I too love that Ol time religion. That being to love the Lord my God with all my heart soul mind and strength. And next loving my neighbor as myself.
    Bless you and have a God filled day, Firedancer

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  7. Dear Anonymous,
    Thank your for sharing your heart with me. I first of all want to let you know that you are in my prayers.
    I can fully understand what you are talking about. I too have those days when I feel on top of the world and then it seems that I get slapped back down to earth.
    I think that is part of the process of living a life of love for God and others.
    Jesus never promised us that we would not have problems in life. But He did say that He would never leave us or forsake us.
    That we would come through victoriously when we stay in His presence. John 16:33
    Because in His presence is fullness of Joy.
    Psalm 16:11
    The one piece of advise that I can give you, that I have found has helps me. Not only when I am struggling with something but every day.
    That is to get a hold of scripture that applies to the thing that you are facing and memorize it. Say it over and over again and personalize it. Put God's word into you so that when the negative thought or feelings come you have God's word to lift you out.
    His word is powerful and it is the only thing that is "The Whole Truth and Nothing But the Truth" in this world.
    Because the Word of God,is Jesus. He is the Word and He is The Truth and The Light. John 14:6
    Then remember that you are lovingly made by the loving Creator of the Universe and that He loves you more than you can imagine.
    And as far as what people think about you don't take it on. God loves you just the way you are. And if He is for you who can be against you. Romans 8:31
    If you have received Jesus Christ as your personal Savior and Lord, God lives in you. And the one that is in you is greater than the one that is in the world.
    1 John 4:4
    If not then it is as simple as asking Him to come in.
    Oh and lastly. Here is one of my favorite Soroya-isms that I am always telling myself and others is; "Just because you Feel it doesn't mean you have to own it" and it truly is ok to "have a feeling just don't let the feeling have you"
    We all have feelings that are negative. Some people have just learned to give the negative depressive thoughts little attention.
    Negative thoughts and feelings come from the result of living in a world that is fallen but Jesus said we are to be of good cheer because He over came the world. John 16:33
    This is where true peace comes from,knowing that Jesus loves us and that He promises that He will never leave us or forsake us.
    People can and sometimes will fail us but He never will.
    I hope that was of some help to you.
    Please feel free to email me in private if you would like anytime. My email address is under my profile picture to the right under where it says about me.
    I am confident that the Lord is going to see you through as you see yourself through His eyes.
    You are truly beautiful to Him. Don't let the enemy of your soul or anyone else tell you otherwise.
    Just Keep loving on others and eventually that love will come back to you.
    God bless you for now and remember to KEEP SMILING GOD LOVES YOU AND SO DO I ~Firedancer

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  8. Hi Firedancer; I love the name! Just wanted to thank you for visiting my blog and your gracious comment;to God be the glory. It is all about loving Jesus and our neigbours. Jesus is the light in our darkness. Praise God! Take care and God bless.


    Toyin

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  9. Hey Roya! Hope this means Im signed in?!

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  10. Hey Firedancer,

    How's it going?

    Blessings,
    Judy

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  11. Glad to meet you - love the name and why you chose it - your heart does burn with passion. I related to your post. Sad story ...but God...We all have similar stories. You have encouraged me to speak forgiveness to my Father for carelessly nicknaming me too. I'm 58, and regardless of my transformed mind and spirit - ans knowing who I am in Christ - I'm a Princess Warrior of the Most High King - dad's name for me created a life long battle. It clings to me in a physical form. I feel Divinely led to speak forgiveness into his life and mine for this thotless life-changing moment of humor on his part. Hopefully, it will be life-changing for both of us! :)

    Thanks for sharing this painful part of your life. Thanks be to God, great things He hath done!

    Patrina <")>><
    Princess Warrior

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  12. Thanks for visiting the Bridge - and the follow. Just to let you know ...I knew you were a fellow warrior princess from your comment on Deb's post over at Truths Vessel. That's what brought me to your page. i wanted to meet a fellow warrior. :)

    Also - I did as I was encourged here - I apologized to my father for his nickname :) thank you. It felt good. I feel free of that - I can let it go!

    hugs,
    Patrina <")>><
    Warrior Princess in boots!

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Hi All thank you for sending in your comments they will be greatly appreciated.
B&P
Firedancer

Word UP !!!

Thank you all who have in the recent days read my blog and given me such words of encourage-ment.
I cannot say how overwhelmed my heart is.
Please know that I pray for you all by name and take the time to ask God to bless you and speak directly to your heart as you read the words I write.
By the way I take no credit for the great stuff that comes out on the page.
I know full well that I am just taking dictation.
However for the not so great stuff well that would be me.
In any case I hope that when you read, you go away a little more encouraged. Remembering that we all go through pretty much the same stuff.
The great thing is that we never have to go it alone.
So if you ever need me just shoot me an email or a note and I will shoot up some incense for you directly into God's throne room. And if you can't do that just call out my name and know that I will hear you in the spirit. And I will pray for you even if I don't know you by name. God does and He can and will get the message out and send you the help you need from His sanctuary.
Now be re-freshed as you read 'The WORD UP' aka 'The Fresh Manna For the Day' !!!
~Firedancer
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Soroya-isms

  • B&P = Blessings and Prayers
  • Be Stretched Not Stressed
  • When I find myself Between a rock and a hard place I run to The Rock that is higher than I am
  • Just because I feel it doesn't mean I have to own it
  • I'm having an emotion I'm just trying not to let my emotion have me
  • I'm Living for Today while doing my best for Tomorrow
  • I Don't Take Care, I Shan't Take Care, I Won't Take Care,God Takes Care and I Refuse to so please Keep your 'Take Cares to Yourself"
  • I'm Just Faithing it 'Til the Feelings Come

Slide Show Spring 2010

My Bucket List of a Thankful Heart

  • For my Wonderful English husband who continues to love me and romance me as he promised
  • One of my biggest blessings my sons Sean, Aaron, Evan from my womb and my bonus son Reece from my darling Michaels loins
  • My Son Aaron as he turns 22 on the 27th of November thanks for waiting til my turkey was digested to come
  • Gods faithfulness in answering my cry and causing my sister Bobbie to survive the horror of lung cancer and the removal of part of her lung
  • For all my sisters Careen aka Jill, Leith Allison aka Allie, Marcia in glory land and Bobbie
  • For having been blessed with two marvelous parents now in glory Blenkhorn and Hope Silvera
  • Thank you dear God for the provision you so freely give and for all the generous saints of God who have hearts to give
  • A special thanks to God and the people who helped me fill the 'Christmas boxes' you are wonderful
  • For all the loving prayers of my friends and family
  • Christian friends who love me both here and across the Big Pond
  • For The WALL our (Sue Lucas and my) new Satellite group starting on Thanksgiving and for all who will be a part of it
  • For living in country that is free to worship God openly
  • For Will and Caroline Kemp and the Point
  • For God TV, UCB Radio and Television and for all the great preaching and teaching I can enjoy
  • Last but not least (for now) the honour of having my name written in the Lambs book of Life because of Jesus' sacrificial blood